Not sure what to say today

So, I haven't posted for a couple of days.  I've taken the time to heal an be with some dear friends.  Thank you to all of you who have reached out, given your love and support, shown up to hang with me, and give me hugs.  I know so many amazing people, I can't even express how much I appreciate each of you!

I went for blood work yesterday and the results aren't helping things.  On Thursday my HCG level was 48, I believe.  Yesterday it was 56.  It should not be going up still.  Almost two weeks of bleeding, my HCG should not be going up.  The doctor still believes this is not a viable pregnancy, but just isn't sure what is going on.  She said once my levels are back to zero, we'll be starting another round of shots.  But we don't know when my levels will be back at zero.  I have to call her back tomorrow morning to set up my time to have more blood work.  If the levels are still going up, there will be a lot more tests and a lot more questions.

A general rule on HCG is that at 6 weeks, your levels should be at least 1000.  Mine are obviously not that high.  I have been bleeding for two weeks.  I am having so many pregnancy 'symptom's still.  My heart hurts every time I experience one of them. 

I just want my body to make up its mind.  If this truly is a miscarriage, which I 99.9% believe is, then I want it to just be done and over with so we can get started again.  I am ready to get another round of shots going.  There is a greater chance of me getting pregnant after a pregnancy, even if it ended in miscarriage. 

Please please please keep the prayers and positive energies coming.  Hubby and I appreciate them.  If it weren't for the support, I couldn't be doing this blog or these treatments.