I called the doctor this morning, I go back tomorrow at 10 am for more blood-work. According to the doctor, she does still think I'm miscarrying, but she isn't ready to give up on this one yet. She wants to see how things are tomorrow.
I hate having the pregnancy symptoms. I am pregnant, but classified as miscarrying. So this means I get to experience all of the not so fun parts of being pregnant, and not getting the 'reward' in the end. Brushing my teeth this morning, I threw up. My breasts are so freaking huge and sore right now. I'm having food cravings and I can't seem to get full.
However, I'm also having some bad cramps that started about two hours ago. I'm also starting to have some actual bleeding. I have a feeling the worse part is starting. What you may or may not know about a miscarriage is that you actually go through labor. Obviously, its not as bad as if you were full term because you aren't going to be pushing out an 8 pound baby and your insides aren't stretched out. But you still have contractions. These can be so strong they stop you in your tracks. In the past, when I've had this, I've ran to the bathroom because it usually means a large amount of blood and/or tissue is going to be passed in about 3-5 minutes. The bleeding can get so heavy you can hardly go 30 minutes without changing a pad. That in turn means you have to keep dehydrated and up your intake of protein. And this can go on for a week.
I am not looking forward to going through all of that. If I am losing or have truly lost my dear little baby Bean, I hope its done and over with, without all of the pain. Physical pain I should say. The mental pain seems to never end. I still mourn the loss of all of my babies, even the one I lost 11 years ago April 15th.
I guess we'll see what the doctor finds out tomorrow. If my levels are still increasing, then I'll probably have an ultrasound to see what is going on. If I've lost this little one, I hope my levels go back to zero quickly so we can give it another try.