I'm not posting much today because I just feel like crap. I've got a headache from hell and can only take tylenol. My insides are burning and I don't want to eat. My joints and muscles are sore. I really just want to sleep this all away....
Sunday, May 6, 2012
No more shots please!!!!
8:45 this morning, I had my methotrexate shot. It was actually two injections, one in each hip. My hips are sore....
I'm not posting much today because I just feel like crap. I've got a headache from hell and can only take tylenol. My insides are burning and I don't want to eat. My joints and muscles are sore. I really just want to sleep this all away....
I'm not posting much today because I just feel like crap. I've got a headache from hell and can only take tylenol. My insides are burning and I don't want to eat. My joints and muscles are sore. I really just want to sleep this all away....
Friday, May 4, 2012
I swear if I have to see another needle today, I'm going to cry
Blood work and an ultrasound this morning. Nothing shows up in my uterus or my tubes or anywhere else for that matter. My lining looks amazing for a pregnant woman. They take the vial of blood and tell me they'll call this afternoon.
They called this afternoon to let me know my levels went up from 154 to 160.
I go to the doctor thinking I am going to get that stupid shot of chemo meds. Instead I get a full blood work up, 3 big vials of blood taken. They are checking my liver, kidneys, the whole shabang. I go back Sunday morning to get the shot. I had to sign waiver forms saying that I knew the meds would end any pregnancy. That is one of the hardest things to sign, but I've signed it before for my D&Cs. It just breaks your heart. I know that this was not a viable pregnancy and that my poor baby has been gone for a while now. Its just hard to see it on paper.
I did learn some more about the shot though. It causes all the folic acid in your body to be drained out. I can't take my vitamins or aspirin for at least a month. No intercourse during that time either. Oh, no alcohol, even though I could use some.... But I don't want to end up with liver toxicity. I also can't be out in the sun without sunscreen or for long times because I'm going to be more likely to sun burn. I don't know how that is possible with my tendency to burn anyway...
I really feel like cracking today though. I just want to cry because I don't know what is going on. I just don't know....
I did come across this on facebook today and I think it was put there for me to see...
They called this afternoon to let me know my levels went up from 154 to 160.
I go to the doctor thinking I am going to get that stupid shot of chemo meds. Instead I get a full blood work up, 3 big vials of blood taken. They are checking my liver, kidneys, the whole shabang. I go back Sunday morning to get the shot. I had to sign waiver forms saying that I knew the meds would end any pregnancy. That is one of the hardest things to sign, but I've signed it before for my D&Cs. It just breaks your heart. I know that this was not a viable pregnancy and that my poor baby has been gone for a while now. Its just hard to see it on paper.
I did learn some more about the shot though. It causes all the folic acid in your body to be drained out. I can't take my vitamins or aspirin for at least a month. No intercourse during that time either. Oh, no alcohol, even though I could use some.... But I don't want to end up with liver toxicity. I also can't be out in the sun without sunscreen or for long times because I'm going to be more likely to sun burn. I don't know how that is possible with my tendency to burn anyway...
I really feel like cracking today though. I just want to cry because I don't know what is going on. I just don't know....
I did come across this on facebook today and I think it was put there for me to see...
Thursday, May 3, 2012
And up we go...
Back to the doctor today for blood work. My arm was thankful for the week break between holes gouged into it. I still get woozy hearing my blood bubble as it fills the little vial. I am so thankful for the technician who does my blood work, Lisa, she is amazing.
Over the last week, I've been waiting and waiting for my symptoms to go away. They haven't. I'm still eating a ton, peeing all the time, almost once an hour, morning nausea, and enlarged and sore breasts. Ugh. But the doctor said that she didn't think the HCG would be out of my system at this point, but it should have decreased.
About 3:30 this afternoon I talk to Chanelle, one of the awesome nurses from the office. My levels have gone up, not down. They are up to 154. Not a good thing at 7 1/2 weeks into a miscarrying pregnancy.
It isn't unusual for your levels to go up a little bit before they drop off, but this is not common at all.
So back to the doctor tomorrow morning at 8 for an ultrasound, again. They are getting really worried that this is an ectopic pregnancy and that they can't find it. I am scared because I don't want to lose a tube or ovary or have any serious damage.
The plan is to probably do an injection of this chemo medicine called methotrexate. From what I understand this causes the rapid cell growth to cease, forcing any growing tissue associated with the pregnancy (fetal or placental) to stop growing. Your body will then get rid of the tissue.
The biggest draw back of this, we couldn't try to get pregnant for at least 3 months. It takes about that long for the medicine to work its way out of your system. If you were to get pregnant with this still in your system, you could lose the baby or have a baby with severe birth defects.
There is one final possibility that I am going to bring up to the doctor. It is possible that I have gotten pregnant in the last few weeks. We did start the medicine to stimulate follicles and we were less than 48 hours away from triggering. Brad and I have 'mated' during this time. I would hate to take the medicine and lose a baby we didn't know was there.
I guess I'll know more tomorrow. I'm scared because I yet again don't know what our future holds. I hope something good, the bad is starting to really wear on me....
Over the last week, I've been waiting and waiting for my symptoms to go away. They haven't. I'm still eating a ton, peeing all the time, almost once an hour, morning nausea, and enlarged and sore breasts. Ugh. But the doctor said that she didn't think the HCG would be out of my system at this point, but it should have decreased.
About 3:30 this afternoon I talk to Chanelle, one of the awesome nurses from the office. My levels have gone up, not down. They are up to 154. Not a good thing at 7 1/2 weeks into a miscarrying pregnancy.
It isn't unusual for your levels to go up a little bit before they drop off, but this is not common at all.
So back to the doctor tomorrow morning at 8 for an ultrasound, again. They are getting really worried that this is an ectopic pregnancy and that they can't find it. I am scared because I don't want to lose a tube or ovary or have any serious damage.
The plan is to probably do an injection of this chemo medicine called methotrexate. From what I understand this causes the rapid cell growth to cease, forcing any growing tissue associated with the pregnancy (fetal or placental) to stop growing. Your body will then get rid of the tissue.
The biggest draw back of this, we couldn't try to get pregnant for at least 3 months. It takes about that long for the medicine to work its way out of your system. If you were to get pregnant with this still in your system, you could lose the baby or have a baby with severe birth defects.
There is one final possibility that I am going to bring up to the doctor. It is possible that I have gotten pregnant in the last few weeks. We did start the medicine to stimulate follicles and we were less than 48 hours away from triggering. Brad and I have 'mated' during this time. I would hate to take the medicine and lose a baby we didn't know was there.
I guess I'll know more tomorrow. I'm scared because I yet again don't know what our future holds. I hope something good, the bad is starting to really wear on me....
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